Spring cleaning & solitude
That time I moved halfway around the world just to get some peace and quiet
“What if you get lonely?”
“Won’t you miss everyone?”
“Aren’t you worried about not having anyone to rely on?”
I heard it all the months before I moved to Buenos Aires. Every question I could’ve imagined about how I’d deal with the impending isolation, and many I couldn’t.
Conspicuously though, I was never asked about my positivity for that fast approaching solitude. Whether I was excited to be independent, rather than scared to be lonely. More optimistic that I’d meet great people than fearful I would miss my friends at home. Eager for self-reliance, rather than anxious at the prospect of being alone.
Our world is noisy. We’re inundated with stimuli on a daily basis.
There’s too much too take in and not enough little time.
So rather than processing any one facet of our life fully, we try to process all of it partially. We’re left in a state of self-aware paralysis.
We instinctively recognize that we’re doing a disservice to everyone who deserves our attention by not protecting any of it for ourselves. Yet we resign ourselves to helplessness and don’t do anything about it.
We have allowed life to become a hamster wheel of inescapable sociability.
Such were the thoughts on my mind when I made the decision to move halfway around the world to a place where I didn’t know a soul. To a place where I could be alone.
Every spring I ransack my closest for old items I haven’t touched in a while. Every article that’s been idly connecting dust is given away, donated to a cause better than disuse.
It’s a simple ritual, yet it brings me a deep sense of satisfaction. Pride even. It feels like an accomplishment to do away with the old. I feel lighter after taking stock of my closest and evaluating each and every article in it for its worth to me. It’s a burden lifted. A weight off my shoulders to know that what remains is truly precious to me and that deserves its place, judged by use and utility.
I think of solitude the same way I think of spring cleaning. Personal time spent alone is a mental and spiritual reset as much as the turnover of my closest is my wardrobe’s physical reset.
It’s inevitable when alone to look into the proverbial mirror and examine what matters. What articles of your personal self are needlessly collecting dust, clinging to the past. And perhaps, which articles are in use when they shouldn’t be, long having since gone out of style. The introspection that comes with time spent alone is a spring-cleansing of the self.
The thing about cleaning out your closest of old clothes and your mind and heart of stale thoughts and feelings is that both practices prove staying power of that which remains. You can rest easier with the knowledge that the things you choose to keep truly matter.
Like all good things, the peace and empowerment that come from introspection don’t come easy. They must be earned.
So what’s one to do? It’s easy to say unplug and unwind, but much harder to actually put into practice. The good news is, you don’t have to move halfway around the world. Or even go full monk, like some so called gurus online would have you believe.
So what’s one to do? Focus on what you can control. Start small. Start there.
Here are three actual practices we could all implement today:
Go for a walk in silence
Don’t answer non-essential messages until the end of the day
Go do something in public alone, like seeing a movie or having a meal
These are all meant to be stepping stones. Small things to develop comfortability with alone time that can lead to true familiarity with total solitude. The goal is to eventually be comfortable spending days and even weeks on your own, basking in your own peace and power as you embrace physical isolation, spiritual independence, and mental self-reliance.
The means to get there is one step, one activity, one solo adventure at a time.
So what’s one to do? Start small. Start today. Find peace in solitude.
Weekly Roundup
My favorite things that I read, watched, and listened too this week.
31 Lessons I’ve Learned About Money - Ryan Holiday
Holiday is a brilliant writer and modern day philosopher. His wisdom here how to live a better life masquerades as insights on money management, but I wasn’t fooled.
Vinod Khosla on How to Build the Future - Y Combinator
A legend of Silicon Valley entrepreneurship, Vinod Khosla’s insights on how to build innovative companies are a wonderful parallel for being a creative, inspired, and impactful person.
Rick Rubin Says Trust Your Gut, Not Your Audience - Honestly with Bari Weiss
There may be no authority on the creative process more revered than Rick Rubin, and his thoughts on going with the flow, doing what feels right, and trusting the work prove why.